My appetite and me

It is pretty well known that I am a petite woman. Now when I say petite, do not underestimate me. I mean I am pretty close to being classified under the "Dwarfism" category.

However, no matter how petite, my food intake would impress a bear preparing for hibernation.

I will gladly spend a night eating pizza or wings and drinking beer with my husband while watching Netflix or football.

So imagine my surprise when I read about the Victoria's Secret diet many of the models commit to before the show. Apparently a week and a half before the show some of them stop eating solid foods, start working out twice a day, and some don't even drink water within 12 hours of the show.

Ummm.... Excuse me? Pizza and wings are important. And BEER! Seriously?

First, understand that women, are women's worst enemies. When I go out with my husband I love to dress up and remind him that I am more than woman that spends my evenings after dinner on the couch in sweats cuddling with him. I am awesome, obviously he knows this, but reminders always help. More often than not, women dress up for other women. They dress up to look better than the other women in the room.

We all do it, but when it is broken down like that it sounds so barbaric!

But we do it because of our own insecurities. I have them. I am 4'10 and a Ginger. I definitely have them. All women do. It is almost like a mating ritual, we have insecurities so we put on tight clothes, wear weird shit on our faces also known as make up, and painful heels. Then we walk around flipping hair and shaking hips, I am pretty certain peacocks do pretty much the same thing but with a little head bobbing.

And it drives me crazy. Why? And women don't even necessarily want extra attention, but they want to know they can get it. And what is it with women and married men? It is like women feel more accomplished if they can get the attention of a married man. I have never felt that need, however since my husband and I got married he gets more attention from single women! My wedding ring is like a shield for all male contact. Which is fine, because even if it wasn't my weirdness would act as a shield on it's own. I get this weird cackle laugh thing going on that reaches pitches unknown to man.

But ladies, you have to understand that if it is a man's attention you're after you don't have to starve yourself. You can diet or not diet all day, but if you take your clothes off in front of your husband he will not complain. Moreover, remember that on your own YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Guess what! If you don't want to play the game you do not have to. Nothing will make you look like the most beautiful person in the room like a confident smile will.

So sit down, get a beer and for the love of god, eat something delicious.